Like We're Back Home Again
by JenniGellerBing
Summary: The friends haven't been together for eight years. But during a reunion at the beach, secrets are revealed and passion is ignited, and it will change their lives forever. *FINISHED* Thanks to everyone for reading and reviewing!!
1. Prologue

A/N: This is my first fanfic posted of FanFic.net, so please review nice! This story takes place as if the series ended before the end of Season Four, meaning Chandler and Monica never got together. This is a reunion fic but will please everyone!

Disclaimer: The _Friends_ do not belong to me, but are the wordks of the most brilliant writers in the history of everything, Kauffman and Bright. 

EPILOGUE

Monica stared at the picture in her hands. There they were. Her best friends. Rachel, Chandler, Joey, Phoebe, and Ross. Well, the people that used to be her best friends. They hadn't all been in the same room together for almost seven years; they hadn't been constant pals, living across the hall from one another, meeting every morning at the coffeehouse, for eight.

So much had changed since that picture had been taken. They'd all been sitting on the couch in their favorite coffee shop, Central Perk, in their neighborhood of Greenwich Village, Manhattan. In those days, the six had spent evenings and weekends and holidays together constantly. You couldn't find six closer people - until everything almost fell apart. 

Monica knew she had been the one to start the changes. It saddened her that her own mistake had almost torn the group apart. Although there hadn't been a falling out or a big break-up that had been the end, the group had practically given up on their friendship when they had all moved around the country. 

It all started when Monica got pregnant. She and her boyfriend at the time, Daniel Ferguson, had only been dating for three months. Somehow, inexplicably, one of those little guys slipped by - and Monica had been thrilled. She had always wanted a baby, and now she was getting her wish!

Danny proposed three months later, just weeks before he was to be stationed in Germany. Danny was in the army and moved around every two or three years. At first, Monica was hesitant to marry him, to leave her hometown, her friends, her family - but there was no way her baby could grow up fatherless either. So Monica married Daniel and moved with him to Germany. Their daughter, Cassandra May, was born a few months later. 

After that, the group almost seemed to fall apart. First, her brother Ross met a British woman named Emily and married her, then moved to London. Soon after that, Joey Tribbiani got a big acting job in Los Angeles and went to live there. He stayed after landing a part on a drama series. 

Next was Phoebe Buffay. Phoebe had never been educated and yearned to go to college. Surprisingly, she was accepted to Penn State at the age of twenty-nine. She graduated and became an accountant. Last but not least, Monica's high school best friend Rachel Greene married her long-time boyfriend Joshua Clark and moved to upstate New York. The final friend, Chandler Bing, remained in NYC.

They all swore to stay in touch, but after a while it became too difficult. The formerly tight group was suddenly too involved with other things - children, spouses, jobs - too spread apart. They all talked every now and then, and Ross and Monica got together on a few holidays, but that was it.

Now it was seven years later. Monica had divorced Daniel and was living near his base in Tallahassee, Florida, so her daughter, Cassie, could be near her father. Ross and Emily had just separated and were still in London. Rachel and Joshua were still together in upstate New York, and Rachel had just had their second child. Joey was in L.A., shooting his third big-budget movie and starring as the lead in his drama series, Phoebe was an accountant in Indiana, and Chandler, after being trapped on the 12th floor at a job for his whole life was currently VP of his company.

Now, almost seven years later, Monica had received a letter from Rachel. In it, Rachel had expressed her sadness and regret that the friends had drifted apart. She said she was writing them all to ask them to join her at her beach house in New Jersey. For the first weekend in years, there would be no children, no spouses, just the six of them talking and getting reacquainted.

Monica and the other four friends loved the idea. Monica jumped at the chance to remove herself from the role of mother she had assumed for years, thrilled to be considered a person again, a friend to someone. A month and a half later, on the date Rachel had said, they all met once again in front of the house. For a minute, everybody just looked at each other. Then Rachel let out a cry, and everybody was hugging and kissing and chatting, and Joey kept yelling, "Oh my god, you've grown!" because that's what relatives always said at family reunions.

No one had any idea of the life-changing secrets that would be revealed, the deep, dark feelings uncovered, the chaos that would ensue. Of how many lives would be changed. 

CHAPTER ONE

Rachel Green

_There they are,_ Rachel thought. _My best friends. Have they changed? Have _I_ changed?_

It was amazing that they were all together again. All those times, eight, nine, ten years ago when they would sit in the coffeehouse and talk and laugh for hours on end seemed lifetimes ago. Why had they drifted apart? It had been terrible. Rachel had lost her family.

But now they were together again, and things were the same - well, almost the same. Rachel nodded and smiled as Monica finished a story about her perfect seven-year-old daughter Cassie. Apparently, the child was beautiful and smart and witty all put together. Normally, if a parent carried on about their child, Rachel would be annoyed, but this - this was Monica. And Monica's life wasn't perfect anyway. None of them knew quite why, but Monica and Cassie's father, Daniel, had divorced three years before.

Now Phoebe was speaking about her new job. _Pheebs, an accountant!_ Rachel thought with a smile. Phoebe had always been ditzy, unable to get a real job. Now, she was extremely successful. 

Rachel noticed a few people holding back in the discussions about family. Ross and Chandler, for instance, seemed quiet. That was understandable for Ross - he and his wife had separated just a few months ago, according to Monica. And Chandler, poor Chandler probably wasn't seeing anyone. Joey had clued her in on the fact that Chandler had thrown himself heart and soul into work after everyone else moved away. _Poor guy,_ Rachel thought as Chandler smiled at Phoebe's story about her secretary. 

__

Were we all he had?

"Well, James is at the top of his kindergarten class," Rachel continued, speaking of her six year old son. "He's already reading and writing. It was so cute, we had a little girl named Laura over yesterday, and they were outside, holding hands and running around. He's already a little lady-killer, just like his Daddy."

"How old is Callista now?" Joey asked. 

"Nine months," Rachel said, smiling at the thought of her adorable baby daughter. "The first months go by so fast!"

"I know, I remember when Cassie was a baby, she just seemed to shoot up before my eyes," Monica said, also smiling wistfully. "I sort of wish I had another one." There was an uncomfortable silence. Why hadn't Monica had another baby? What had happened between her and Danny? 

There were so many mysteries. Joey and Phoebe, if their lives and careers had changed, at least seemed to have the same personalities. Phoebe's comments were still oft random and crazy, and it still took Joey longer than the rest of them to get something. 

But, Rachel knew, they had changed in some way. She knew what her problem was, but she couldn't put her finger of the rest of them... 


	2. What Your Friends Don't Know

A/N: Thank you for the reviews! I really appreciate them. And thank you for catching my dumb mistake... I don't know what I was thinking! Momentary brain lapse...

Disclaimer: The _Friends_ do not belong to me, but are the creations of Marta Kauffman and Kevin Bright, the most brilliant writers in the history of everything! 

CHAPTER 2 

Chandler Bing

_It's okay,_ Chandler thought to himself as his friends talked. _They don't know. They don't know anything. There is no reason to freak out. They're not all staring at you._ But it seemed like they were. Rachel kept watching him, like she was expecting him to do something crazy. Well, if Rachel knew, that was expected. Rachel had the picture perfect life - a husband, two wonderful children, a beach house.

And then there was Monica. She kept glancing over at him, catching his eye for a moment, then looking away. What was she thinking about? Was she remembering - no, better not go there, Chandler thought. That was the thought that had thrown him over the edge so many times.

His AA leader had told him what do in this situation. _"Seeing old friends and family is sometimes a struggle, but it is something you have to do. If, after seeing them once, you think it is going to be a problem, you should leave._" But Chandler didn't want to leave. He wanted to hang out with everybody again. Go back to his old life, when he had something to live for, something to care about.

Rachel stood up. "Anybody want a drink?"

"That sounds great," Joey said. The rest nodded, except Chandler. He felt his stomach clench up as Rachel pulled out a six-pack of good beer and what looked like scotch. A drink. A drink would make this so much easier. Chandler could imagine the burn as it went down his throat, then the warm comfort as the alcohol spread from his stomach throughout his body. 

_When you drink, you create problems, not solutions,_ he remembered. That's what they always said. Problems, not solutions. But a drink would make his friends so much easier to face.

"You want anything, Chandler?" Rachel asked politely.

_Problems, not solutions..._ sober for 88 days... the cool oblivion, the tingly feeling...

"No," he said. "No thank you." _There,_ he thought triumphantly. _That wasn't so tough. Nobody pressed you for answers. Nobody forced it down your throat._

Afternoon gave way to evening, and the last rays of sun shone through the windows.

"Oh!" Rachel exclaimed. "The sunset is so beautiful if you go down to the water. Come on, let's go." 

It was beautiful. The six friends stood together, watching the sun slowly go down into the horizon. Just before it disappeared completely, Ross, who'd had his arm around his sister, picked Monica up, and, with Joey's help, carried her toward the water.

"No!" Monica shrieked, laughing. "No, it's too cold! Ahh, Ross, stop it!" They all laughed as Monica childishly beat her older brother's arm. "Chandler, save me!" Chandler's smile froze. 

"Ready?" Joey said. "One... two... three!" Together they tossed Monica out into the water, where she was surrounded by a big splash. Rachel and Phoebe, pulling up their skirt and pants respectively, waded out to wear Joey and Ross were. 

Chandler rushed in after them, forgetting his pants for a moment. Suddenly, he tripped and fell... right onto Monica. Their arms and legs her tangled together as waves crashed over them. Chandler could feel the cold, salty water on his arms and legs and back... could feel Monica's toes on his legs, her warm arms around his neck. He could barely hear Joey, Ross, Phoebe and Rachel in the background, laughing so hard they were holding their stomachs.

_Now where have I been in this position before?_ Chandler thought wittily. Slowly, he moved away from Monica and stood up, then offered his hand down to her. She took it and he pulled her up.

"I'm gonna get you, Ross!" she cried, running over to splash him, kicking up water on the way. Rachel started screaming, but before long, they were all soaking wet and shivering under the moonlight, feeling like children and loving it.

"Wow," Rachel said breathlessly as they waded onto the beach. "I haven't had this much fun since... well, since we were all in New York. It's like we're back home again." She gazed wistfully at her friends. 

Chandler stared at the sand, and when he looked up, he saw Monica staring at him. "What?" he asked quietly. His heart began to race, and chills that he knew weren't from the frigid water ran up his spine. God, her eyes were so blue. She reached up toward his head.

"You've got seaweed in your hair," she whispered, pulling it out. Chandler blushed, and the others laughed. 

_So much for getting her back,_ Chandler thought. _God, I need a drink._ As they walked back to the house, Chandler kicked himself. _No! You will not let Monica force you to drink. Nothing will make you drink. Nothing is so important as to make you drink..._

Ross Geller

Ross listened to Joey's steady breathing in the bed across the room. It had been so long since he'd been sleeping in a room with someone, and not have to worry about... well, anything. Hanging out here with his old friends and his sister was just what he needed... a vacation from cold, rainy London, from work, from Emily. 

Emily. Ross sighed. Every thought went back to her. That's how Emily wanted it, right? That was why they'd ended it mutually. She wanted him to be at her beck and call, always knowing where he was at every moment. That's how it had been since that one time he'd accidentally called her Rachel. A total slip of the tongue had ruined his life. 

Rachel... now there was another touchy subject. God, he'd missed Rachel. The laughing, the talking... _the sex,_ he thought guiltily. But now, they were back in the same house, just one thin wall apart. How he wished he could get up and go to her... but that would never work. He was married, she was married, it was altogether absurd. And what would their friends think? They would think that he was so pathetic he was trying to light the flame of a nine year old relationship by rubbing two rocks together. And Rachel had moved on to... a battery-operated lantern named Joshua. It would just blow up in his face. 

Instead, he would concentrate on the good parts of this little beach excursion. Getting to hang out with all his old friends. Seeing his sister, whom he'd been worried about - Monica hadn't been the same since she'd left New York. Enjoying himself, for once. 

But Ross still couldn't sleep. He got up and bumped out of the room, not wanting to turn on a light to wake Joey. He felt his way along the wall toward the bathroom. He cupped his hands under the faucet and drank the cool, fresh water. Then he wiped his mouth on the back of his hand, turned the bathroom light off, and left.

_Bam!_ He slammed into a small figure and jumped back. The person let out a cry. 

It was Rachel. "Omigod, Ross, you scared me!" Rachel breathed, clutching her heart.

"Sorry. What are you doing up?"

"I - I couldn't sleep," she replied lamely.

"Me either," Ross said. 

"You wanna come down and... get some tea or something?" Rachel asked hesitantly.

"Um. Okay." The walked downstairs into the kitchen, where Rachel turned on the light and started to boil some water while Ross sat at the bar. "So, you've gotten a little more proficient in the cooking area lately," Ross said, remembering the casserole they'd had for dinner.

"Yeah, I guess that comes with being a wife and mother," she said, and Ross heard a note of resentment in her voice. Rachel let out a laugh that sounded more like a bark. "Joshua always needs his home-cooked food - no take-out or fast food for my husband and _his_ wonderful children." Rachel paused, clasping her hands together and leaning against the cabinet.

"Whoa, Rach, what's the matter?" Ross asked, jumping up and going over to Rachel. He tentatively put a hand on her shoulder.

"It's nothing, really," Rachel said, wiping her eyes and smiling. "I'm, just -Joshua and I have been having some problems. That's all. Nothing big."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"You wouldn't understand,'' Rachel said, and Ross laughed.

"_I_ wouldn't understand? A divorce and a half over here. Look, come sit down." 

Rachel obliged, and the two of them sat together at the bar. "Now, what's the problem?"

"I don't really know. I just feel like - sometimes I feel like something's missing. With Joshua, and also - with my life. I mean, I love Josh, and I love my babies, but I sort of wish I were more - independent. On my own again, you know? Everything's so monotonous, so boring, being a mother. There's no excitement. And Joshua treats me like I'm not good enough for him, not a good enough mother for Jamie and Callista. Like, okay, when Jamie was two, he ran out into the street to chase a ball, and almost got hit by a car, and Joshua - Joshua was so mad at me. And a couple of weeks ago, the baby was holding on to the coffee table and standing up, and she fell and hit her head on the chair. She just got a little bump, but Joshua said I was a terrible mother for leaving her alone for five seconds. He said that he doesn't want to leave _his_ children home with me. That's how he says it. _His_ children. Not ours." Rachel paused, and swallowed hard. 

"But Rach, you're a great mom! I've seen you with the kids - you're fantastic with them! Don't listen to Joshua."

"I mean, I'm not the best mother, but I try so hard!" Rachel cried. "I cook and I clean and I buy the kids educational toys and work on Jamie's homework with him - I'm really trying! And Joshua - he never wants to spend alone time with me anymore. We never talk, he never buys me things, we never... you know, that often. Why aren't I good enough for him?"

"Because he's an idiot," Ross said passionately. "He doesn't understand what a wonderful, beautiful, smart woman he has." Ross took both of her hands. "Anybody would be lucky to have a woman like you, Rach."

"Thank you," she whispered, reaching up to brush her hair out of her face. When she did so, her pajama top lifted up, and Ross saw a large bruise on her stomach. He stared at it until Rachel hurriedly pulled her shirt down.

"Rach, did he...?" Ross asked worriedly, looking up at his friend.

"Thank you for talking to me," Rachel said quickly, standing up and walking away. "Good night." 

I hope you liked this chapter! Good reviews _really_ make my day, and if you have any suggestions I'd like to hear those too. 


	3. Just Can't Lie

A/N: Thank you for the great reviews! They really make my day! I have most of this story written, so I'm trying to get it up quickly. I'm sorry about the cliffhanger at the end of the last chapter, but this chapter will clear everything up! Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I _still_ do not own the _Friends_. They are the creations of Marta Kauffman and David Crane, the most brilliant writers in the history of everything!

CHAPTER 3 - 

Phoebe Buffay

For the first time in a long time, Phoebe woke up smiling. She didn't open her eyes, but she could hear Monica walking around the room, probably cleaning. It was just like the old days, when they were roommates.

These were the people who cared. As sappy as that sounded, Phoebe knew that these people were the only people who she'd ever really trusted, who'd ever really cared about her. She was so delighted to be with them again. She'd tried to keep up contact - calling Joey every once in a while, meeting Monica for lunch that time she flew out to Germany, but after a while, everyone was too busy with their own lives to talk to her.

Phoebe had been crushed. But now, now she was back with her old friends, and she knew they still loved her. Phoebe had to admit she too had changed. She could tell that they didn't see it, except physically - her hair was shorter and she wore mostly dark, tight fitting clothes - but there was more. Her new job, an accountant at a high-paying office job, was nice, but she didn't really belong there. 

Phoebe had _had_ to change herself in order to work there. The clothes, the hair - she'd started smoking and going out with her "work friends" on weekends, it was all the new fake-Phoebe persona. 

Once Monica had left the bedroom they were sharing for the weekend, Phoebe got out of bed and got dressed. She went downstairs and found just Monica and Ross sitting at the breakfast bar, sipping coffee.

"If it isn't the Geller early birds," she teased. They smiled.

"Morning, Pheebs," Ross said. "How did you sleep?"

"Great! You know, having the ocean right next to your window is really comforting," Phoebe said, pouring herself some coffee. "What about you guys?"

"Okay," Monica said. "I kept waking up to listen for Cassie. She's been having bad dreams lately and she's always coming in to sleep with me. I hope she's doing okay with Danny." 

"I slept okay too," Ross said, but didn't elaborate. In those few moments, her friend's simple answers had given Phoebe a window into their lives, into what they thought about. 

Before long, the other three had trudged into the kitchen and they were all eating breakfast. As Joey polished off his third omelet, Rachel, playing the part of hostess, said, "So I was thinking we could all just spend a nice relaxing day at the beach."

"Relaxing - hmm, I think I've forgotten what that word means," Ross said. He smiled, but Phoebe could tell he wasn't kidding. _Poor guy,_ she thought. Monica had told her he and Emily were splitting up and he wasn't taking it so well. 

An hour later, they all - with the exception of Rachel, who said she burned too easily - had bathing suits on and were laying out towels on the beach. 

"I'll race ya in, Pheebs," Joey challenged Phoebe.

"You're on," Phoebe said, feeling like a kid again although she was pushing 38. "First one all the way wet wins! On your mark, get set - " 

"Go!" Joey yelled, and was off sprinting down the sandy bluffs. 

"Hey! Cheater!" Phoebe yelled, tearing after him. 

Once they were both in the water and floating around, Joey said, "God, hasn't everyone changed?" 

"Yeah," Phoebe said quietly. "None of them seem too happy, do they?" It wasn't a question.

"No, they don't," Joey agreed. 

"I wonder what happened," Phoebe said rhetorically.

"Well, Monica got divorced, and Ross is about to get divorced, and Chandler - "

"I know what _happened,_ I'm just wondering what happened to them _spiritually,_" Phoebe explained.

"Spiritually? I think they just got older and had a lot of crap happen to them," Joey said. After a minute, he asked, "Are you happy?"

Phoebe didn't answer immediately. "I guess. I mean, my job is great, but I'm not sure it's quite my calling, you know? And I've got friends, but they're... they're nothing like you guys." Phoebe smiled shyly. "What about you? Is fame and fortune all it's cracked up to be?"

"Aw, well, I'm not exactly rich," Joey said modestly. _That's a lie,_ Phoebe thought. "But to tell you the truth, I would probably give it all up to go back and live in the apartment with Chandler, across the hall from Monica and Rachel, a couple of blocks from you and Ross... you can never tell who you're friends really are in show biz. If I've learned anything, it's that."

Phoebe suddenly realized there was an aspect of Joey's new life she didn't know anything about. "What about girlfriends? Got any of those back home?"

"Ah, well," Joey hemmed. "I got a couple of girls back home that I hang out with once in a while. You know, casual friends." _Who have sex,_ Phoebe read off Joey's face. He must have seen something, because he immediately said, "But you'll always be my number one girl, Pheebs. Nothing could change that." She felt his foot brush against hers in the water, and she kicked him back. They smiled shyly at each other, then she threw her arms around him. After the embrace, Joey swam out and under her.

"Chicken fight, anyone?" he yelled to the four people on the beach. Phoebe spun around to look at her friends. They were all gone.

Monica Geller

As the remaining four sat on the beach, the tension, sexual and otherwise, was palpable. They weren't mad at each other, but things were so different now - and yet the same. 

"Wow, it's getting really hot out here," Rachel said suddenly, wrapping her oversized shirt more tightly around her. "I think I'm going to go inside. I'll see you guys later."

A minute or two later, Ross said, "Ah, I'm going to go call Ben. We're meeting on Tuesday so I just want to, um, make sure he can still make it." He got up and sprinted off towards the house.

"So, Mon - how've you been? I mean, _really_ been?"

"Fine" came to mind. But this was _Chandler_. He would know if she was lying, and "fine" would be a lie. "Okay. Not so great," Monica admitted. "Things got kind of hard after Danny and I split up. He's always going on business trips so I've got Cassie on most of his weekends. Not that I mind at all - I love my daughter, it's just sometimes..." _It's like I'm a single parent._

"Do you wish you were still with him?"

Monica gazed out at the water. "I don't know."

"How come you never told anyone why you split up?" Chandler asked gently. If this had been anyone else, Monica would have been angry, angry with the person for prying. But not at Chandler. Chandler was just trying to help. He could tell something was off.

"It wasn't really important," Monica heard herself saying dully.

"Okay," Chandler said.

After a minute, Monica said, her voice cracking, "Actually, it was." She sat up and pulled her knees close to her chest.

"Mon, what's the matter?" Chandler said, immediately sitting up to comfort her.

"I'll talk to you. Can we go back to the house, though? I'm getting sort of, uh, sunburned..." _And I don't want Ross and Rachel and Phoebe and Joey to come back and see me like this Talk about an original excuse._

"Sure," Chandler said. They picked up their towels and started back to the beach house. When they got there, they sat on the swing on the porch.

"I found out Danny was cheating on me two years ago," Monica said, and let out a deep breath. There. That was the first time she'd actually said it to anyone. "I came home early one day when Cassie was sick and found him with another woman in our bed. _Our bed_, Chandler, can you believe that? So I left him. That's really all there is to it." Ah yes, another lie.

"I'm really sorry," Chandler said. "I had no idea."

"Yeah - neither did I. I was too embarrassed to tell anyone. On the divorce papers, I just put 'irreconcilable differences.' I mean, it was obviously my fault. I just wasn't what he wanted." Although her tone was dull, cold, she felt her eyes burning and her voice becoming choked. 

"He didn't deserve you," Chandler said. "You deserve someone who will treat you right."

"Chandler? Do you ever think about that time we... you know..."

"Yeah."

"Me too."

"Do you think we could ever...?"

"I don't know."

Rachel

Rachel stared into the mirror, looking at her body. Ross had seen the bruise on her stomach. How could she have been so stupid?! It had been foolish enough to spill her guts about Joshua, but to let him see the bruise... that was a fatal mistake. Now Ross would know what a weak, horrible person she was. And if Joshua ever found out, who knew what he would do.

But this vacation away from him was good. Yes, it was definitely good. One weekend of not having to worry about Joshua or the kids or slipping up or living in constant fear that Joshua would come home enraged and take it out on her.

Rachel took a deep breath. Maybe this trip wasn't such a good idea. What if he got so angry that he hit her babies? He could hit her all her wanted; she just didn't want him to hurt her children. Maybe she shouldn't have left them there.

__

No, Rachel said. _Joshua loves Jamie and Callista. He would never lay a finger on them. It's only you he hates._

"Rach," Ross said softly, sticking his head into the room and knocking. "We're here with the groceries." He and Monica had gone shopping for food for dinner an hour or two earlier.

"Oh! Great!" Rachel said, wiping her eyes. "Tell Mon I'll be right down." Rachel turned away.

"Listen. I was wondering if I could talk to you about something," Ross said, coming into the room. 

"Sure. What?" 

"It's about Joshua. Is he - is he hitting you, Rachel?"

Rachel gaped at Ross, then let out an airy laugh. "_What?_ That's ridiculous, Ross! Hitting me? Wherever did you get that idea?" Her voice was unnaturally high and she was speaking much too quickly.

"I just... saw the bruise on your stomach, and they way you talked about Joshua... I just figured - "

"You figured wrong." Rachel snapped, standing up and brushing invisible lint off her clothes. "Joshua and I are perfectly happy. I don't know what I was talking about last night. I must be PMS'ing or something. That's why I'm crying, too," Rachel said, wiping her eyes again. "See? Just stupid emotions running out of control!"

"Okay," Ross said. "But remember, if you ever need to talk - "

"You're there," Rachel said. "I know." 

A/N: So, some secrets have been told... but there's more to the story. Keep those great reviews coming! I love them! 

-J


	4. Friends With Benefits

A/N: Thank you so much for all the great reviews! You have no idea how thrilled I was to get them. 

Joey Tribbiani

Joey leaned back against the arm of the couch, laughing hysterically. Phoebe had just told him an anecdote about one of her first days in the accounting business.

"Oh, I haven't laughed this hard in years," Phoebe said, wiping her eyes.

"Me either," Joey said. "Hey, I'm getting hungry. Where's Monica and everyone else?"

"Well, Mon and Ross went to the grocery store, Chandler's outside on his cell phone, and I don't really know where Rachel is," Phoebe said. 

"Mmm. So... we're all alone," Joey said.

"Yeah," Phoebe said, raising her eyebrows.

"Remember what we used to do when we were all alone?"

"Vividly," Phoebe said demurely. Moments later, they were running up to Joey's room and landing on the bed, kissing. 

"Dear God, Pheebs, I missed this," Joey said, taking a breath. 

"You know, they call this 'friends with benefits' these days," Phoebe said, slipping out of her sundress.

"Friends with benefits. I like that."

"Yeah, it's better than 'sex partners,'" Phoebe said. 

Chandler

Dinner came and went. As Monica reached across the table to pick up a bowl of rice, her arm brushed against his, and Chandler shivered. He still had that affect on her, after all these years - in was unbelievable. 

"Drinks, anybody?" Phoebe said, opening the refrigerator. This comment pulled Chandler from his reverie and sent him crashing back to earth. "Goodness, Rach, you've got a whole liquor cabinet here!" Chandler moaned silently. A whole liquor cabinet! How tempting was that!

"I'll have a scotch on the rocks with a twist," Monica said.

"Same thing, but no twist," Ross said.

"Let's see, I'll have a sour apple martini," Rachel said, standing up to make her own drink. "Joe?"

"Just a Corona for me, thanks," Joey replied.

"Chandler?" Phoebe asked.

"None for me, thanks,'' Chandler said gruffly.

"Aw, come on," Rachel said, elbowing him as she walked by. "There's plenty! Get sloshed tonight, man."

"No, I'm fine," Chandler said.

"You need to loosen up, man," Joey said as he took a drink of his beer. "You're so tense. Have a beer."

"I'd rather not," Chandler said, his tone a little harsher than expected.

"Whoa, there it is again," Ross teased. "You look like you're heads gonna explode, Chandler. A drink will - "

"I don't want anything to drink!" Chandler yelled, then stormed from the room and out onto the porch. He leaned against the railing, breathing hard. _Problems, not solutions..._ that's what they'd said. But him refusing a drink in there, that had caused a problem, caused him to look like an idiot, caused...

Monica to follow him. He knew it was here when he felt the hand on his shoulder. "What's the matter?"

Chandler kept staring out at the waves that were crashing gently against the sand, not moving a muscle. Monica went to stand next to him. "Chandler. Are you okay? What did they say?"

"Nothing," Chandler said, his voice squeaky. "I'm fine." He went and sat down on the steps, sticking his feet into the cool sand. Monica sat next to him, but he continued to gaze ahead, staring out at the sand and the water. 

"I talked to you," she said. "It's your turn."

"I'd rather not," Chandler said, half-smiling.

"You have to," Monica said, and Chandler couldn't tell if she was serious. "Come on."

Chandler sighed heavily, finding he _wanted_ to tell her. "All right. Okay." He turned to Monica. "I just got out of rehab two months ago. I was a drunk. The real deal. Living in a tiny apartment, going to the meetings, 'My name is Chandler and I'm an alcoholic,' the whole thing. When you guys left, I just - I don't know. I didn't have anyone to stop me from destroying myself. You were... all I ever had. I was always drinking, always getting myself into trouble. I knew I was in a downward spiral but I didn't care enough to stop. For four years, I drank every night. Four years, Monica. I've just about blanked out on four years of my life. Well, about five months ago, I drove my boss's car into his house. I was arrested and went to rehab. I wasn't hurt too badly, but I just about lost my job. That woke me up. I had nothing, I _was_ nothing, and I would never be anyone again unless I stopped drinking. So I stopped. I've been sober for 89 days, and then the guys in there, they made it so tempting..." Chandler stopped, seeing the expression on Monica's face. "I'm sorry I freaked out."

"Why? Why didn't you tell us?" Monica asked quietly. "We could have helped you - _I_ could have helped you."

"You all had lives and husbands and jobs. You didn't want to be bothered with a crazy drunk like me," Chandler said, biting his lip.

"You never used to drink! You hated it! You said it was because you're parents always fought when they were drunk, always did crazy things. What made you start drinking?" Monica asked.

"Losing you," Chandler said honestly. "After that night we... I just couldn't get you out of my head. And then you married that Daniel guy a couple months later and everybody moved away... I knew I could never have you, even though I wanted you so badly." Chandler had never been so open and honest with one of his friends in his entire life. 

Monica slowly raised her hands to her mouth. "Oh my God. Chandler, I'm so sorry," she cried, then hugged him, burying her head in his shoulder. 

"It's okay," Chandler said patting her back. She fit so well into him - her hair smelled like a mix of her flowery shampoo and the salty air... as she slowly pulled away, her lips brushed against his. He leaned forward, wanting more... but then stopped.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, his mouth just centimeters from hers. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be," Monica said. They were leaning closer again when there was a loud thump and the door to the porch opened. 

"Hey, you guys okay out here?" Ross asked, staring wildly from his sister to his friend. Chandler let his eyes fall. Ross had seen them and now he was going to kill Chandler. Chandler laughed silently. 

"We're fine, Ross," Monica said. They looked up at her brother, who was still standing above them. "Could ya give us a sec?"

"I guess," Ross said, and turned away. 

"Listen, Chandler, if you ever need to talk... I'm here. You know that, right? No matter what time, day or night... even when we go back home. Call me."

Chandler nodded. She was there.

_Is it better to have loved and lost, or to have never loved at all?_

A/N: Sorry this chapter was so short. I have several more chapters written, so when I get some more reviews, I'll post the next chapter! Thanks!


	5. Can't Change a Thing

A/N: Thank you again for the reviews... they really inspired me to, uh, upload this document! Okay, this chapter is a little longer. I hope you like it - it's one of my favorite chapters.

CHAPTER FOUR

Ross

Later that night, Ross went upstairs to use the phone and call his son, Ben. It was their designated "calling children, spouses and jobs" hour. He picked up the phone and heard it dialing.

_Whoa, I haven't drank _that_ much,_ Ross thought, smiling. Who else was using the phone?

"Hello?" a small, childish voice came.

"Jamie, sweetie, it's Mommy," Rachel said. Ross was about to hang up, but decided not to. 

"Hi, Mommy! I miss you! Guess what? Daddy and me read another chapter of our book tonight."

"Oh, that's great, sweetie. Is Daddy there?"

"Yeah, I'll get him. Daddy! Mommy's on he phone!" Ross heard a muffled reply. "Mommy, Daddy's changing Callista. He says he doesn't want to talk to you."

"Ask him why, okay, baby?"

"Why, Daddy?" More muffled speaking, then a yell. "He said he's mad at you for leaving us here with him all weekend while you go gallivanting with your friends. I mean gallivanting."

"Oh, he's - he's mad?" Rachel asked, her voice faltering.

"Yeah, real mad," Jamie said. "But I told him not to hit you when you get home because it hurts." Ross gasped involuntarily. So Joshua _was_ hitting Rachel - and their son knew! 

"Thank you for saying that, sweetheart," Rachel said quietly. 

"What's the matter, Mommy?" Ross could hear someone, presumably Joshua, speaking. "Daddy says he wants me to hand up. He's real mad. Mommy, his face his turning red. I don't wanna hang up, Daddy! I'm talkin to Mama! No!"

"James Joshua Bradford, did you hear me?" Ross could hear Joshua's voice clearer now.

"Joshua!" Rachel screamed. "Joshua, don't hurt him! Don't hit him! Please! I'll be home tomorrow."

"Good," Joshua said. "I'll save it for you." He slammed the phone down, and Ross jumped. He raced up to Rachel's room, where he could hear her softly crying. He barged in without knocking.

"Ross!" Rachel cried, startled. "What are you doing?"

Ross went over and knelt in front of Rachel. "Let me take you away from him," he said, taking her hands. "Let me take you and James and Callista away. He's a horrible person and I won't let you get hurt anymore."

"Ross - "

"No, Rachel, I heard the conversation. I don't want you or your children near him ever again. Why do you stay with him? Why don't you leave?"

"I don't want the kids to suffer," Rachel said meekly. 

"So you let him _hit_ you? Rach, you don't deserve to be treated like that. There are things we can do to get the kids away - "

"I don't want to make him mad."

"Who cares if he's mad? I'll go with you. We'll get the kids and leave, you can divorce him. You can't live with him anymore!"

"I know," Rachel said. "But I can't take my babies away from they're father."

"Yes, you can. And I'll help you," Ross said. He pulled Rachel close to him. "I'll never let you go."

"Thank you," Rachel said, sobbing into Ross's shirt. "Thank you, Ross."

Monica

After dinner, Monica went upstairs and called Daniel's house to talk to Cassie. Hearing Cassie speak reminded Monica of something she'd been planning to do, something she had to do... She pulled on a sweatshirt and went downstairs to find Chandler. Her heart was beating fast and her palms were sweaty. 

She walked into Phoebe and Joey - _kissing_ on the couch in the living room. "Um - do you guys know - where Chandler is?" 

Joey raised his mouth from Phoebe's to muter, "On the porch," before her lips caught his again. Shaking her head, Monica inched around the two and out onto the porch. Chandler was sitting on the steps again, staring out at the ocean and writing something on a pad of paper.

"Hey," she whispered, going over and sitting next to him.

"Hey, there," he said, taking his glasses off. "What's up?"

"Nothing," Monica said. "Did you see them in there?" she said, pointing toward the room where Phoebe and Joey were making out. "What is up with that?"

"Friends with benefits," Chandler said knowingly.

"Ah. What are you writing?"

"Oh, nothing, really. Just a story."

"When did you start writing? You always said you wanted to but you never did."

"In rehab. I was so bored most of the time, and the people told me I needed an "emotional outlet", so I chose writing."

"That's great." After a moment, Monica noticed Chandler's hands clasped nervously together on his lap. She reached over and impulsively took one. He looked up, and they smiled at each other.

"Listen, there is sort of - sort of something I want to tell you," Monica said, gulping. _It's now or never,_ she thought. _He deserves to know._ "It's really, really important."

"What is it?"

"It's about Cassie." Monica paused and stared straight into Chandler's eyes. "She's - she's yours."

"What are you talking about?" Chandler said, chuckling. He knew, Monica realized, but was trying to change it. _But he can't,_ Monica thought forlornly. _Believe me, I've tried._ "Are you giving her to me? Early birthday present?"

"No, Chandler, she's - your daughter." Monica squeezed his hand. "I'm sorry I never told you."

"That's crazy," Chandler said, pulling his hand away. "How do you know? You got back together with Danny a day after we - you know... how could she be mine?"

"When she had her tonsils out three years ago, she had a blood test, and, well... when they said her blood wasn't matching Danny's, I realized she was yours."

"_Three years?_" Chandler said incredulously. "You've known for three years and you never told me?"

"I didn't want to take her away from Danny!" Monica said. "They really do love each other, and if the courts found out he wasn't really her father, he'd lose partial custody. I didn't want to dot hat to her."

"Why would the courts find out?" Chandler mused, running his hands through his hair.

"I don't know. We kind of... lost each other for a while, and I was afraid if you found out, you might sue for custody or something. I didn't want to ruin all of your lives. I decided it would be easier, that no one would ever have to know."

"So why'd you decide to tell me?" Chandler asked softly.

"Because it's not easier. She' so much like you, it's frightening. I'm always so thankful Danny never really knew you, or else he'd see it. She even _looks_ like you, Chandler, if you can imagine that. And you deserve to know that you have a daughter."

"Oh my God, I have a daughter," Chandler said, putting his head in his hands. "No, Mon - _we_ have a daughter." He let out a deep breath. "So, what am I supposed to do with this? Just know I've got a little girl out there and ignore her? I can't do that."

"I know. And that's why I'm moving back to New York." Chandler stared at her. 

"You're - you're moving back to New York?" he repeated dazedly.

"Yes. Daniel's being transferred to a base in New Jersey, but I'm sick of always having to follow him. I want to go back home. And... you can be with Cassie." Monica had thought long and hard about this, and her decision was final.

"Thank you," Chandler said, and then stared straight ahead, as if his mouth was shut closed. 

"I'm sorry I never told you before."

"It's okay," Chandler said, taking her hands again. Almost without realizing it, they were leaning closer again. Monica felt her eyes flutter shut as Chandler's lips touched hers. 

Monica hadn't been kissed like this since she'd been married to Danny. Chandler cupped her face with his hands and they continued to kiss. A few moments later, when the kiss ended, they pulled apart, and Monica smiled at the bewildered expression on Chandler's face.

"What was that?" he asked, watching her carefully. 

"That was a kiss," Monica said, almost as shocked. But before she had time to say any more, their lips were locked again.

Phoebe

They had moved up to Joey and Ross's room and were starting to get undressed. But before Phoebe even had her bra off, Joey was kissing her again. They couldn't keep their hands off each other. And Monica and Chandler knew. But the weirdest part was - it wasn't weird. It seemed natural. 

Phoebe shivered as Joey ran his hands around her body and trailed kisses down her neck. They kissed again, and Joey mumbled something.

"What was that?" Phoebe said.

"Marry me, Pheebs."

Phoebe stopped kissing Joey. "_What?_ Did you just propose to me?"

Joey raised his eyebrows. "I think I did."

"Why do you want to marry me?"

Joey rolled his eyes. "Come _on._ Like you don't know."

Phoebe knew. They'd always had something, always been in love, but had been too afraid to admit it. Phoebe hadn't want to dive deeper into the thing, because she knew Joey was a player, a womanizer, and it had bothered her that she was falling in love with him. But now, after this weekend, their feelings were so clear, and they were feeling so spontaneous.

"All right," Phoebe said, shocking them both.

"All right?"

"All right. Let's get married."

"I don't have a ring," Joey said. 

"That's okay. You can buy me one later," Phoebe said, and kissed him again.

A/N: Whew - here's another chapter! There was the Phoebe/Joey you all asked for. Maybe it was a little, I don't know, _extreme_, but I always thought that's how it would happen for them. If you wanted something different - write your own fic! 

Now please review, or, as one of my favorite authors says - Kathy and Janice will come back! :)


	6. Not So Funny

A/n: Wow! Thank you for the outpouring of support. I appreciate it more than you will ever know. 

CHAPTER 5 - Not So Funny

Rachel

For a while, Rachel and Ross sat together and Ross listened while Rachel told him the whole story. How Joshua was so critical of her - if her shirt didn't look right or her shoes were less expensive than someone else's, he would taunt her cruelly. 

"'Why are so fat?' 'You're hair is turning an ugly color.' 'Your breasts droop more every day,'" Rachel mimicked her husband. "Nothing about me is ever right. _Ever_." She felt tears welling up in her eyes once again. Joshua was right, and she knew it, but saying it out loud made it worse.

"Rach, none of that stuff is true!" Ross exclaimed. "You are _incredibly_ skinny, your hair is beautiful, and your breasts..." he trailed off uncomfortably, but Rachel caught the tone in his voice.

"Thanks, but you don't have to make all that stuff up," Rachel muttered looking down at her hands.

"I'm not," Ross said, lifting her chin up with one finger. "You can't let him make you believe all that crap! What else did her do? Tell me why he would hit you. It's the only way I can help."

Rachel took a deep breath. This was the hard part. "Um, those times I told you... Jamie running out in the street, Callista falling... once Jamie swallowed a penny and Joshua told me it was my fault for not watching him carefully. I really try to be a good mother, Ross, I try so hard! But I'm not good enough."

"Yes you are," Ross said. "And even if you weren't, he has no right to hit you. Rach, I have a lawyer that can get you and the children away from him, and he can divorce you, anything you want. You just have to promise me that you will testify against him."

"Testify?" Rachel said blankly.

"Yeah. At the trial."

"What trial?"

Ross frowned. "We're pressing charges," Ross said.

"Oh, no, we're not," Rachel said, horrified. "We can't press charges against him! He'll kill me! I just want to divorce him, that's all."

"You're kidding me, right?"

"No! I'm serious. No charges. I'm just going to tell him I want a divorce."

Ross studied her. "Are you sure?" _No,_ Rachel wanted to cry out. _I want that bastard to rot in jail, I want him to pay for what he did to me._

"He's the father of my children," Rachel said softly. "I don't want them to suffer."

"All right," Ross said. "I'll call the attorney. But, listen, we could protect you - he's a wife beater, for God's sakes - "

"Thank you, Ross," Rachel said. "Thank you. But that's all."

Ross nodded. Then he leaned in and hugged her, kissing her lightly on the forehead. "If you need anything, or just need to talk, come get me."

"I will," Rachel said, biting her lip. She smiled at Ross one last time as he left, then threw herself onto her bed and dissolved into tears. Tears of relief, shock, terror, excitement - all of it had been building inside her, ready to explode. She was leaving Joshua.

Joey

Joey snuck down the stairs and out the back door. It was ten-thirty at night, and he was meeting Phoebe on the beach. All the bedrooms in the house were full, so they'd decided to meet on the sand. 

_Phoebe._ The name brought a jolt in his chest. Phoebe, his - fiancee. He was marrying Phoebe. He grinned. They'd always had a deal - if neither of them were married by the time they were forty, they would marry each other. They were just doing it three years early. Joey always knew they would end up together, but when he was moved across the country for his show, he had been devastated. 

But now everything was just right. Joey did a little skip on the sand and crept up behind Phoebe. She was standing right where she was supposed to be, with her back to him. Her blonde hair was flowing lightly along her shoulders, and moonlight shone on her profile. He ran up and put his arms around her.

"Hey, baby," he muttered in her ear. 

"Hey, honey," she said back, and they both grinned. They'd always used pet names for each other, but now it all meant so much more. Joey began to nibble on her ear, and before long they were rolling around the sand.

A few hours later, as they lay wrapped in a blanket, holding each other, Phoebe asked a question. "Are we going to have kids?" 

Joey mulled this over. "I - I don't know. Aren't we kind of, well, old?"

"Joseph! You are never to tell a woman that she is old... have I not taught you anything?" Phoebe teased. Then she sighed. "I mean, I know 38 isn't the perfect childbearing age, but I've always wanted kids. Don't you want kids?"

"I guess," Joey said. "I mean, yeah, I do... but I don't want to be 75 when my kid graduates from college, you know?"

"Well, do _you_ have any kids hidden away in your pockets? Because I don't."

"You know, by the time we get married, and all... we're gonna be, like, 40."

"So what are you saying?" Phoebe asked, turning to look up at Joey. Joey grinned. He'd just had a wonderful, spectacular idea.

"Let's get pregnant now!" he exclaimed.

"Now?" Phoebe said. "As in, tonight?"

"Why not?"

"Because, Joey, we've only been together for, like, a day!"

"No, that's not true. Pheebs, we've been together for years. You know I love you."

"I know, and I love you too, but... are we ready?"

"Ready as we'll ever be," Joey said, caressing her back. "And, I mean, even if we don't get married right away, or at all... we'll just be friends with a kid! That's pretty cool, you know?" 

Phoebe shrugged. "All right then, lover boy. Fertilize me."

Chandler

_I've died and gone to heaven,_ Chandler thought as he kissed Monica. _This is heaven. Or else I'm dreaming. There is no way Monica is kissing me._

But she was. Oh, boy, she was. How many times had he dreamed of this? How many nights had he lain awake in bed, wishing that he could feel Monica's lips on his just one more time? How many drinks had he taken to get rid of this very thought when it threatened to consume him?

All of a sudden, her lips her gone. Chandler opened his eyes, and saw Monica staring, open-mouthed, at him.

"What?" he asked. Monica burst out laughing.

"I can't believe - I can't believe we were just - just - _kissing!_" she cried, laughing. 

Chandler let out a dry chuckle, although he didn't see the humor in the situation. "What's so funny?"

"I don't know," Monica said, lowering her booming laughter to a few giggles. "I just - that was really stupid of me. I'm just sort of desperate, you know?"

"Right," Chandler said, realizing what was going on. "Too much salt air. Ha. Ha."

"Can we just - forget this happened?" Monica asked.

"Sure," Chandler said, feeling like he forgot to breathe.

"Okay. I'm sorry - got a little out of my head there! Well, I'd better be going up. And, again - I'm sorry about not telling you before. G'night."

"Night," Chandler mumbled, watching Monica go back inside. Once she was gone, he put his head in his hands.

_A joke,_ he thought. _I was a joke. I was her 'desperation' kiss._ Monica didn't feel any of what he felt. Not a tad. She - she _laughed in his face!_

"Oh my God," Chandler said, humiliated. He swallowed hard. Her could still feel her lips massaging his, her hands running through his hair - how could someone kiss like that and not mean it? 

What was the point, anyway? What was the point of staying sober if there was no one around to care?

_You have a daughter,_ Chandler's better side thought. _You have a daughter who you are going to meet. Be sober for her._ Yeah, right. Who knew if Monica was actually going to do what she'd said? And he didn't even know this daughter - what if she hated him? What if he was a terrible father? What if Monica decided she didn't want her daughter around him, didn't want her daughter to know she'd hooked up with her loser best friend eight years ago. And being so lose to Monica and not able to touch her and kiss her again, to hear it was all a mistake - that was too much.

Before he'd even realized where he was going, Chandler was up and heading for the kitchen. He was opening the liquor cabinet...

__

No! Chandler thought, closing it again. _89 days, man... do you really want to give that up?_

Yes. It would make all he pain go away - it would make Monica's laughing, his daughter, the smarting, freshly-salted pain - make it all go away. A drink was what he needed. He could imagine the cool, burning feeling as the first sip went down his throat, and all the proceeding sips. His head would feel lighter, carefree, his nerves would unjumble, his heart would stop pounding, the tears threatening to overcome him would go away. God, how good it would feel.

He took out a bottle of good, hard vodka, pulled a glass out of the cabinet, and poured himself the first drink he'd had in 89 days.

A/N: Hope you liked this chapter! Sorry about the cliffhanger! If I get lots of reviews, I will _try_ to post the next chapter tonight, because I know the end of this chapter will drive you crazy. Keep the reviews coming! 


	7. Anything At All

A/N: Okay, here's the next chapter. Thank you for the reviews! I hope this satisfies you.

Disclaimer: The _Friends_ do not belong to me, but are the creations of the most brilliant writers in the history of everything, Marta Kauffman and David Crane!

CHAPTER 6 - Anything At All

Monica 

Monica lay in bed, wallowing in her own misery. What was the matter with her? Had she _actually_ kissed Chandler just minutes ago? She had sworn to herself that she would not go down that path again... it would only lead to the fighting and the pain and the tears, just like with Danny. No good could come on falling in love; she'd learned that by now. Admitting to Chandler that Cassie was his was one thing, but trying to start something up again with a man who obviously didn't want to, wasn't ready to - that was just crazy. 

But why hadn't _he_ stopped the kiss? _It takes two to tango,_ she thought. _Maybe... maybe he really felt what I _said_ I felt. You know, desperation? _That would make sense. But the sensual, passionate, gentle way he'd kissed her - that wasn't the kiss of a person who was just looking to get laid. 

Maybe he pitied her. Maybe he'd just played along because he'd seen what a pathetic loser she was and how much she wanted it, so he just did it. 

But there was something more, some electric-charged, out of control vibe between them. It had been there all weekend. It had been there over the eight years when they'd hardly seen each other. It had been there before. Monica wondered if he'd ever lain awake in bed at night, wishing things were different, wishing she was there with him. Remembering the one, crazy, amazing, altogether perfect night they'd had together. That night had changed the course of Monica's life. She'd gotten pregnant that night but didn't know it. She'd raised her daughter with a man who wasn't her father.

And now she'd just told her daughter's biological father that she had his child. It was utterly unbelievable. 

_We kissed!_ Monica thought. That thought penetrated all others, reverberating through her brain until she came to one conclusion. She couldn't stay here any longer. She had to talk to Chandler, to see if the kiss meant something to him, to see if anything could happen. And to know for sure if it couldn't.

She got out of bed and went downstairs. Chandler was sleeping in the den. She would wake him up if she had to, although it had only been twenty minutes since she'd left. 

The light in the kitchen was still on. She squinted as she entered it and when she opened her eyes, she saw - 

Chandler. Chandler, lifting a glass of amber liquid to his mouth.

"Chandler!" she cried instinctively, taking several strides toward him. Chandler looked over, startled, and set the glass down.

"M - Monica." He looked at her, and Monica could see a mix of guilt, of pleasure, of a thousand different things.

"What are you doing? Is that... is that vodka?" she asked, sniffing the glass. "Chandler, did you drink any of this?"

"No," Chandler said immediately. "I didn't." He looked down.

"Why? Why were you going to drink? You've been sober for 89 days!"

"Just leave me alone, Monica," Chandler spat, turning around. Monica took an automatic step back, hurt.

"What? Why?"

Chandler didn't reply, didn't look at her. Monica walked right up to him. "Chandler, what's the matter?"

"I was your desperation kiss," Chandler said quietly. "Don't I mean _anything _to you at all? I'm your daughter's father." He broke off. 

"You weren't my desperation kiss," Monica said.

"Yeah, right. And we both know we only did it eight years ago because you were so freakin' depressed about your goddamned Danny." Monica felt her stomach clench and unclench in guilt. Chandler was half-right. She _had_ only gone to his apartment because she was upset. She _had_ only kissed him, the first time, because she needed to be needed. But after that... after they did it, there was something more. Monica didn't want to believe it. She was with Danny. Chandler had been a one night stand - just a friend helping a friend out. But that wasn't all.

"That's not true. I really do - I really do care about you."

"Then what do you want?" C handler said, turning to face her. Their bodies were almost pressed together. 

"I guess I want... I want to try..." Monica trailed off.

"What?" Chandler said, his voice deep, his warm breath against her cheek. They leaned closer together, their eyes locked. 

"_Us,_" Monica whispered, and moments later they kissed for the third time that day. 

And the third time is a charm. This time, nobody moved away, nobody burst out laughing, they weren't interrupted - it was perfect. It was like their bodies were magnetic forces, forces that weren't supposed to be together, but somehow always ended up attached. 

Monica hadn't kissed anyone in almost three years. She'd forgotten the wonderful sensation of lips massaging your own, the warmth that spread through your limbs and made your spine tingle. And she'd forgotten how natural it felt with Chandler. She'd thought she'd never find that again. She was, after all, a 37-year-old single mom. But then, here it was. They kissed in the kitchen for several minutes. Monica knew, knew this probably wasn't right, that Ross could come down at any moment, but she couldn't stop.

Things were about to get hot and heavy when someone cleared their throat loudly. Monica and Chandler broke apart, and Monica turned around to see Rachel standing there, raising her eyebrows expectantly.

"We were just... I was..." Chandler stammered.

"It's okay," Rachel said. She smiled. "But you better go somewhere else - Ross'll be down in a couple of minutes."

"Thanks for the warning," Monica said, and they quickly left, racing into the den, where Chandler was sleeping. They just stared at each other for a minute.

"The moment's over," Chandler said awkwardly.

"We probably shouldn't... you know... anyway," Monica sad regretfully.

"Right." Monica watched Chandler fiddle with his belt, which had come undone. 

Chandler finally spoke. "So - you're really coming back to New York?"

"Yeah," Monica said. "I'm going to look for a place next week. Danny's living in a military apartment, but I can't, because we're not married anymore. I hope I can find a cheap two-bedroom. It's pretty tough, you know, getting a job when you move every two years... and apartments aren't cheap these days, nothing is..." Monica knew she was babbling nervously. The money thing had been a problem for a few years, and with Danny only paying minimal child support because he was in the army, money had been tight for Monica and her daughter for awhile. That had been part of the reason she hadn't told anyone Danny wasn't Cassie's father - if he found out, he wouldn't have to pay child support.

"Monica," Chandler said, putting one finger up to Monica's lips to quiet her. "Don't worry. I'll - I'll help out."

"Really?" Chandler nodded. "I really wasn't trying to ask, you know. Everything is just so much... and if Danny finds out he's not Cassie's father, I'm so screwed."

"Monica!" Chandler said again, chuckling. "Don't talk. Just kiss." Before Monica could say a word, Chandler's lips were on hers again. 

A/N: I'm sorry this chapter is so short, but for it to work, it has to be. I'll post the next chapter as soon as I can! 


	8. Never Been So Sure

A/N: Thanks for the reviews! To make up for the last chapter being so short, I made this one really long. There is at least one more chapter after this.

Ross

It was too late to call his lawyer, too late to do anything - Ross knew that. But he was up, pacing his room, wishing he could do something. It was after midnight, and he was bored. Rachel was in her room, packing and making lists of what she would do after she left Joshua. Monica, Phoebe, and Chandler, he assumed, were asleep in their rooms, but Joey was MIA.

Tomorrow. Tomorrow they all left the house on the beach, all went back to their lives. 

The next morning, Ross went downstairs to find everyone eating breakfast quietly. Something had changed about the group. It was like there was something in the air, something on everybody's mind. _Well, everybody's probably upset because we're going home today._ It was a sad thought. They'd all become close again over the past two days, and none of the six wanted to leave.

Ross hoped they would all stay more in touch than they had for the past eight years. Had it really been eight years? It didn't seem that long. They were still best friends. But all of their outside lives had changed so drastically that Ross wasn't sure they could ever stay together. He, himself, had been married, and was now getting divorced. Monica had had a baby, gotten married, and gotten divorced. Glancing at his sister, he vowed to talk to her more. She had drifted most of them all. For the past few years, she'd seemed depressed, distant, sad. 

And Rachel - Rachel had gone through hell. Her dream life had turned into a nightmare. Ross still couldn't believe Rachel had let her husband beat her. Wasn't she furious and terrified? But she would get help - Ross was seeing to that. Even if she didn't want it, Ross would help her. It hurt him so much to see her like this - the woman he'd once loved, the woman he still did.

Joey and Phoebe hadn't seemed to change much at all, with the exception that Joey was a TV star and Phoebe was an accomplished businesswoman. Ross smiled as he remembered their former lives - Joey, a seemingly failed actor, and Phoebe, a ditzy masseuse-slash-guitarist. Ross hadn't talked much to Chandler over the course of the weekend, hadn't gotten into the specifics of his life. Chandler seemed the same - same job, same city, same apparent commitment-phobic lifestyle. But something _had_ changed Chandler. Ross wasn't sure of the details, but something had happened that had made him different.

The six spent the day packing and cleaning and talking. They all planned to go to the airport after lunch - their flights ranged in times from 2:00 to six. 

At lunch, Phoebe cleared her throat. "Um - Joey and I have an announcement." The two of them shared a glance, and suddenly it clicked in Ross's mind...

"We're getting married," Joey exclaimed. _Okay, not _quite_ what I was expecting._

"What?" Rachel cried.

"Really?" Chandler said.

"Yeah! We've always had that pact, you know, and we've kept in touch and... things have happened," Phoebe said, grinning guiltily. 

"So we're gettin' married!" Joey cried. Everybody hugged them and congratulated them. They were both so thrilled. Ross just hoped their marriage didn't turn out like his, Monica's, and Rachel's had. He didn't think it would. They were perfect for each other. 

Before long, they were all at the airport, and it was time to say good-bye. Rachel's flight was first. After everybody hugged her, Ross pulled her aside.

"I'm coming out to New York on Wednesday," he said quietly, noticing the other four struggling to hear the conversation. "Remember what we discussed. Tomorrow while he's at work, you pack your things and take the kids to your mom's. If it gets bad - leave tonight. Don't take stuff, just go. _Don not let him touch you._ You call me no matter what happens, okay?"

"Okay," Rachel whispered, her eyes brimming with tears. "Thank you, Ross." She leaned up and kissed him tenderly. The kiss held for several seconds, and both clutched each other. "Bye."

Phoebe left next. She and Joey had a very physical good-bye, and Ross, Monica and Chandler left them to it. When Joey walked back to the group a few minutes later, looking dejected, he moaned, "I can't believe she's gone!"

"Isn't she flying out to California on Friday?" Chandler said.

''Yeah, but that's five days! I don't know if I can wait that long to see her again." Chandler rolled his eyes, and Ross chuckled. Joey left thirty minutes later.

Then Ross had to go. He hugged Chandler and then turned to his sister. "You take care of yourself, okay, little sis? If you need anything, you promise you'll call me?"

"Of course," Monica said, squeezing her brother. "But I think I'll be okay now." Ross kissed his sister, picked up his bag, and headed to the gate for international flights. He was going back to London for a few days, and he would end it officially with Emily. Then he was coming home to New York.

Chandler

Chandler and Monica stood near the gate to Chandler's commuter flight to LaGuardia. He glanced at his watch, and at that moment, a voice came over the loudspeakers, announcing that his flight was boarding rows 1-10.

"I guess you have to go," Monica said.

"Yeah." 

"So this is good-bye." Monica's voice was soft and melancholy.

"But you're coming up in a week or so, right?" Chandler asked hopefully.

"Yes."

"So then - call me." They hugged each other tightly. Chandler wished he never had to let go - wished she could stay in his arms forever. Monica moved her face to look at him, and they kissed softly. Chandler kept his arms around her, unwilling to let go of her. He never wanted to let her go again, never wanted to feel the pain of loving something so much and watching it walk away - or walking away from it. He'd gone through that once with Monica. 

"Bye," she whispered. 

"Bye," he said, and forced himself to take a step away. He walked away and handed his ticket to the woman at the gate. He turned and looked at Monica before he stepped out of sight. She was standing with her arms crossed, looking sad. Chandler smiled weakly at her, and she smiled back. Then he left.

An hour later, he unlocked the door to his apartment. _Home, sweet, home,_ he thought. _Well, sort of._ He'd moved there just a few months ago, and boxes were still out everywhere. He dropped down onto the couch and turned on the TV. But he couldn't concentrate. All he could think about was Monica and Cassie. His _family._ That's what they were now.

For the rest of the week, Chandler went through the motions, just as he had been for eight years. On the outside, he seemed the same - sarcastic and slightly cynical, a hard worker, the quiet, introspective, mysterious man he'd become. But inside, an emotional hurricane was tormenting him. The daughter he never knew he had. The woman he'd never gotten to keep. The woman who'd pulled him on an emotional roller coaster for eight years, driving him to the brink of destruction and the pain of loneliness without ever knowing it. 

And now - was she his? Chandler wasn't sure. How could he ever trust her again, after keeping a secret as big as the child they shared for so long? That was simple. He was in love with her. The love that had harbored inside him for over ten years, the secret anguish that kept him from loving another, all of the passions had been stirred up again over one short weekend. 

Before he knew it, it was the next weekend. _Fantastic,_ Chandler thought. A whole weekend with no work to distract him. He needed a distraction desperately, but had no friends to turn to. Before, when a long, lonely weekend would stretch in front of him, he would go to a bar and drink until he wound up in bed with a woman or was throwing up in the bathroom, the latter more common. But he couldn't do that anymore.

He was spacing in front of the television when the phone rang. "Chandler Bing," he answered. That was the way he answered every telephone call, that brisk, impersonal way. Because it would always be work. How long had it been since a friend or a woman had called him?

"Hi, it's Monica," Monica said. Chandler sat straight up.

"Hi! What's up?" The words came automatically. That causal, friendly greeting that you could only say with friends, the one his lips had not uttered for so long, felt unnatural and yet perfect.

"Um, I - I lost my job," she said, sounding small. 

"Oh my God, I'm so sorry," Chandler said, feeling horribly sad for her. He had never lost a job - he'd been at the same one for over ten years, moving slowly up the corporate ladder, but still - it must be terrible. "What - what happened?"

"Cassie broke her ankle playing soccer yesterday while I was at work. When they called me, I ran right out, and kind of left the stove on. There was a small fire, and nobody was hurt or anything, but they - they fired me," Monica said. Chandler winced. 

"Harsh," was his lame reply. Monica chuckled dryly.

"Yeah." Chandler knew Monica must be horrified, desperate, and humiliated, but he wasn't sure what else to say. He felt like his tongue was stuck to the roof of his mouth. "So I can't - I can't come to New York."

Chandler's stomach flopped. "What? Why not?"

"I don't have the money to get a place in the city now - I kind of, um, didn't have any insurance," Monica admitted. "They took Cass to the hospital in an ambulance, and I sort of dipped into my savings. And it's going to be really tough to get a job without the recommendation I was going to get from my manager. But Danny said we could move in with him, he's got a house on the base. Just until I get back on my feet and all. I can't come to the city." Monica was talking quickly. "I mean, I know it's going to be weird to live with my ex-husband and his girlfriend all, but we're still on okay terms. It'll be good for Cassie to be with her fa - Danny - more, and his house is really big so we won't have to see each other much. I really don't have any other choices."

Until that moment, Chandler had been had been shocked, at a loss for words. But suddenly a thought popped into his head, and before he could consider it, he blurted out, "Come live with me."

There was silence on the other end of the phone. "What?"

"Come live with me," Chandler repeated slowly, his brain still working overtime.

"No, I heard you - are you serious?"

"Yes," Chandler said. 

"You want me to come live with you."

"You and Cassie."

"That would - be amazing, but I can't... can't impose..." Monica stammered.

"It wouldn't be imposing. I have a two-bedroom apartment. It's not that big, but it's in a good area... come on, Mon, you and I both know you _really_ don't want to live with Danny," Chandler said. He was serious, so sure, about all of it. It made so much sense.

"Wouldn't it be weird?" Monica said after a pause.

"Weirder than you living with Danny?" Chandler pointed out.

"I guess not," Monica said, and Chandler could tell she was smiling.

"So come on. Bring Cassie and move to New York. It's close to New Jersey, so Cassie can still see Danny, and I can... I can get to know you guys."

"Are you sure?"

"Of course I'm sure." He'd never been more sure of anything. 

"All right." For a second Chandler thought he'd heard wrong. Had Monica just agreed to move in with him? Okay, it wasn't like she was _moving in_ moving in, but still, it was a start. He resisted the urge to get up and dance. "Chandler?"

"Yeah? Okay, so this is great! Come whenever!"

"The new school year starts in two weeks, and I don't want Cassie to have to switch schools in the middle of the year. Is that too soon?"

"No," Chandler said. "That's perfect."

"Okay. So I'm - I'm moving in with you."

"Yeah." Chandler grinned. This was the beginning. His new life had begun.

A/N: Whew! Long chapter. I hope you liked it. I'm still working on the next part of the story, so my apologies if it takes a few extra days. 


	9. Open Handed

A/N: Here is the next chapter... finally! Sorry it took so long, but I'm trying to figure a few more things out. 

Rachel

Rachel took a deep breath as she stepped out of the taxi. She was going home. No - this house had never been home. It was just a house. Joshua's coldness had never made it a home. 

Why was she standing out here thinking about the house? Because you don't want to go in, he subconscious reminded her. But she had to. Tonight she would pack. Tomorrow she would take her kids and leave this house, take her children and drive to her parents' house in Scarsdale and leave Joshua.

With a resigned breath, Rachel pulled her key out of her pocket and entered the house. It was quiet and dark, and she set her suitcase down in the living room. Then she picked it up again. Joshua would get mad if he saw it there, would yell because he might trip over it. Rachel felt tears threatening her as she caught herself. The constant worries, the constant fear. Her life had turned into a game of cat and mouse. But no more.

Rachel followed the only source of sound, which was coming from the den. She opened the glass doors to see the big-screen TV on. Joshua was here. 

"Hi," she whispered, afraid her might be asleep. She took a few steps forward to look at him. The first thing she noticed was the three beer bottles lined up on the side table, and then the half-empty one in his hand. 

Joshua barely looked at her before turning back to the TV. "You're back."

"Yes. Where are the kids?" A pang of terror hit Rachel - was Joshua so drunk that he'd forgotten the children?

"Asleep."

"Oh. Good." She took an awkward step towards him. "Did everything go all right? How's Callista's cold? Did Jamie behave?"

"What is with the third degree?" Joshua barked, swiveling to face her. She caught a whiff of his breath, which stank of alcohol. "Dammit, Rachel. Gimme a break."

"My God, Josh, how much did you drink?" Rachel asked, wrinkling her nose. 

"Are you trying to lecture me?" Joshua said, his voice slurred. He stood on unsteady feet. He took a step toward her.

"No," she said softly. "Get away from me."

"_You_ are the one who left me for the weekend to go running off with your stupid childhood friends at _our_ beach house. _You_ are the one who makes all the mistakes. I can't believe you would even _dare_ to speak to me that way." Rachel felt like she was small child again and her father was angry with her. But her father had never hit her. She braced herself for the slap. _Where will it be this time?_ she wondered. _The face? No, probably not - not when he's got the dinner with his boss on Wednesday. How many times has he had to explain about his clumsy wife, always bumping into things? _

Before she had time to consider anything else, he hit her. But she had been wrong - he'd hit her face, open-handed at least. The sting was sharp and biting, and she'd have a bruise. She bent over, sobbing and covering her cheek.

"That'll teach you to talk to me like that," Joshua said calmly, sitting back down. "Now go upstairs and clean yourself up. You smell like airplane food and your mascara is running." 

Rachel quickly ran from the room, incredulous that Joshua was telling her make-up was ruined when he'd just slapped her. No, that's how Josh was - especially when he was drunk. Rachel went upstairs and looked in the bathroom mirror, tears of hurt and terror still running down her face. There was a red hand mark on her left cheek, and she could already see a tint of blue appearing.

_That's it._ She was leaving Joshua - tonight. Quickly, she threw a few clothes and some toiletries into her bag. Then she ran into Callista's room and packed a diaper bag, and to Jamie's to pack some clothes and his favorite toys. She did this quietly, as to not wake the children or alert her husband what she was doing. 

Then she woke Jamie up. "Jamie, honey, wake up."

"Hi, Mommy," Jamie said, smiling.

"Hi, sweetheart. Listen, we're going for a drive, okay?"

"But it's nighttime."

"That's right, but this is very important. Let's put your clothes on." She quickly dressed her son and brought him into Callista's room, where she gently picked up the baby. Callista began to fuss, but Rachel stuck a bottle in her mouth and she quieted. 

Rachel picked up the bags and looked one more time around her bedroom. Joshua's bedroom. The scene of so many fights, of tears. Where her daughter had been conceived just 18 months ago. Rachel got a funny taste in her mouth and left quickly, with Jamie trailing behind her silently. Rachel thanked God that her five-year-old seemed to understand how important this was. They snuck out the back door and around the house to her SUV. Rachel gently set her sleeping baby in her car seat and strapped Jamie into his seat. Then she went back in to grab the bags.

"Rachel," Joshua said. Rachel slowly stood up, the bags in her hands, and knew Joshua was behind her. She had been so close. "What are you doing?"

Before answering, Rachel took several slow steps backwards. "Rachel!" he yelled.

"I'm leaving you, Joshua. Good-bye." And she ran.

"Rachel! Rachel! You can't take my children!" But Joshua was drunk, and slow, and Rachel had adrenaline running through her veins. She bolted into the car, and drove away. She was crying and shouting in joy at the same time. She'd done it. She'd left him. 

Holding Cassie by one hand and a suitcase in the other - their stuff wouldn't be here until tomorrow - Monica took three deep, calming breaths. The weight of Cassie, who was leaning against her, exhausted from hobbling around on crutches and a two-hour plane ride, was comforting. She kissed Cassie on the top of the head, then knocked on the door.

Chandler opened it in seconds, and for a moment they simply stared at each other. Then Chandler hugged her, pulling her into the warm, gentle embrace that she had craved for so long. The hug of someone who loved her. 

"Hi," she finally whispered into his shoulder.

"Hey." They broke apart, and Cassie stared up at Chandler with wide eyes. Chandler looked at her, and in that moment, something changed in him. Monica could see it - he already loved this little girl. 

"Cassie, this is Mommy's friend, Uncle Chandler," Monica said awkwardly. They'd already decided that it would be bad to overwhelm her, that it wouldn't be good to explain immediately that Chandler was her real father. They would get to know each other first, then, maybe when she was a little older, they would explain it. 

"Hi," Cassie said, shyly clutching her mother's hand tightly. Chandler got down on his knees to be eye level with her.

"Hi, Cassie. I'm so happy to finally meet you."

Rachel

Rachel swallowed hard. Today was her day in court, literally. Today, she would fight to get complete legal custody of her children. Today she would stand up against her husband and tell the world what a horrible person he was. Because she had realized, with the help of Ross and the shrink she'd just started seeing, none of what Joshua had done to her was her fault. And she deserved better than him.

Ross saw her begin to nervously twiddle her hands, and he took one of them and squeezed it. Rachel looked at him and felt warmness spread from her hands to her face, throughout her body. _Ross._ He had been her lifesaver through all of this. The past had been one of the most difficult in her life. At first, it was just staying away from Joshua, making sure he couldn't track her down. Then she had to find an apartment, a temporary place for her and the kids to stay. Ross had loaned her a generous amount of money, and also insisted on paying for the divorce lawyer.

But most of all, he'd been there when she felt like she just couldn't handle it any more. She'd gone through spurts of anger, sadness, confusion, and regret. He'd let her yell, held her when she cried, assured her everything would be fine. And now she thought it really might. 

Only one thing was off, and it had to do with Ross. He wanted more, more than this casual friendship they'd acquired. She could see it in his eyes, in the tender way he held her, how he touched her, even if he'd never admit it. The love they'd had years ago had never really disappeared - it was more just dormant, shoved under the rug amidst husbands and wives and children. Something they could ignore as long as they were thousands of miles apart. And, Rachel had to admit, she wanted more too. 

But she was becoming stronger every day. She was her own woman now. Before, she'd never left Joshua because she was afraid she'd lose the children, afraid to be alone again. But now she wasn't. 

_I am woman, hear me roar,_ she thought grimly. 

"Rachel Clark versus Joshua Clark," the attendant called, and Rachel stood up nervously. She and Ross mutely walked into the courtroom, where a sobbing woman was being led from her seat. "Joanie," the woman kept crying out, and Rachel looked over to see a girl about Jamie's age being carried away. Rachel felt sick to her stomach. What if she lost her case? What if the children got taken away?

"Don't worry," Ross whispered, reading her mind. "They can't take them from you. I won't let them." He kissed her gently on the cheek.

The case went well. Rachel's lawyer said Joshua would get drunk and angry, and yell at Rachel - and beat her. Finally, Rachel was called to the stand where her lawyer began to question her. 

"Is it true, Mrs. Clark, that your husband hit you?"

"Yes," Rachel replied.

"How many times, would you say?"

"Many, many times."

"An estimation?"

"Twenty, probably, in the last two years." Rachel saw Joshua glaring at her, and she stared right back. 

"And many times these slaps left a bruise?"

"Yes."

"Thank you," the lawyer said returning to her seat. The other lawyer rose.

"I just have a few questions, Mrs. Clark. Why did you never report your husband?"

"I just... I didn't want to hurt the kids."

"So you remained in a house with an abusive man? Weren't you scared for your life, for the life of your children?"

"I was. But Joshua never hit the kids." The moment she said it, Rachel knew she shouldn't have. 

"So Mr. Clark never hit or even threatened to hit your children?"

"No."

"I see. Mrs. Clark, do you have a job?"

"No, I don't."

"So how are you supporting yourself and your children at this point?"

"I - a friend is helping me."

"A Mr. Ross Geller, is that correct?"

"Yes." Rachel looked at Ross, both of them knowing what was next. Silently, Rachel begged Ross to forgive her.

"And is it also true that Mr. Geller is a former boyfriend of yours?"

"Objection!" her lawyer cried, standing up. "Your honor, the status of Mrs. Clark's former or present love life is not up for debate at this time and has no relevance to this case."

"That is correct. The objection is sustained. Mr. Front, please refrain from questioning about Mrs. Clark's past."

"I have no further questions." 

"Mrs. Clark, you may step down." Rachel walked shakily back to her seat and almost fell into it. Ross took her hand again. 

"I'm sorry," she whispered.

"It's fine. You did fine. We're going to win."

The next day, they were called back to court.

"I am hereby granting Mrs. Rachel Clark complete custody of James and Callista Clark, with supervised visitation for Mr. Clark on one weekend a month and one holidays per year. I am also granting Mrs. Clark half of Mr. Clark's yearly salary, along with alimony until Mrs. Clark is on her feet, and child support for the next seventeen years. This court is adjourned."

Rachel had won. Her old life was over, and a new one had begun. As she stood up on shaky legs, a grin spread across her face. Ross took her in his arms and kissed her, hard, and she cried happily into his shirt. A new life. With Ross. 

***********************

A/N: There are two possibilities right now - a) I end it with one more chapter, or b) the story changes _slightly_ and it goes on for a couple more. I would like your input! Thanks.


	10. Stand In

A/N: Sorry this took so long.... again. Okay, this chapter takes place a couple weeks after the weekend at the beach.

CHAPTER SEVEN - Stand In

Phoebe smiled as she watched Joey finish the final scene of the day on his hit drama, _Seeing Blue,_ which was about a cop, played by Joey, and his psychic twin brother, also played by Joey. Phoebe had always loved the show, although that was mostly because her best friend was the star. 

The audience clapped and cheered, signaling to Phoebe that Joey was done. She stood up and they kissed. Phoebe felt shivers run up and down her back. It had been less than a month since their trip to the beach, and still her and Joey's love was new and yet so comfortable. Tonight, they were going out for a romantic dinner in the suburbs, and Phoebe suspected he would give her the ring tonight. 

She could still hardly believe they were getting married. When Phoebe had given her two week's notice at her job three weeks before, telling her coworkers she was moving to Los Angeles to be with the man she was going to marry, they'd called her crazy. "How can you just up and leave your whole life to move across the country for a guy you haven't seen in five years? And a TV star, no less!" her good friend Suzanne had cried. "How will you know what he's doing behind your back? Haven't you ever heard of groupies, Phoebe?"

But Joey wasn't like that, Phoebe argued. And he wasn't. Phoebe knew by the way he kissed her and looked at her and smiled, like she was the only person in he room, the way they made love so tenderly. And so Phoebe quit her job, packed up her things, and flew to L.A. She didn't have a house or a job, she realized, but that was really a moot point. Joey was rich - he had a gigantic house in Malibu and she moved in there. He offered her all the money she needed, but she'd made a good living in Indiana and didn't need it - yet, anyway. 

That night, the two enjoyed themselves thoroughly at the small, expensive restaurant on the Palos Verdes Peninsula. It was secluded and quiet, and devoid of fans coming up to Joey - it was perfect. Still, Phoebe sighed as they got into Joey's chauffeured BMW. No ring in sight. It wasn't that she cared so much about the ring, it was what the ring symbolized - that it was really real, that he wasn't stringing her along. That she wasn't going to be Joey's arm candy - delicious arm candy, but arm candy all the same.

They arrived back home and got out of the car. Phoebe started for the house, but Joey took her hand and led her to the backyard, which was on the edge of a cliff, facing the beautiful Pacific Ocean. 

"What are we doing?" Phoebe said. Joey didn't say anything. As they walked into the yard, Phoebe gasped.

Candles surrounded the patio, adding a romantic, dim light to the yard. Vases filled with hundreds of roses had been placed on the benches and tables, filling the air with the slight scent of petals. Phoebe's eyes grew wide as she took all of this in, and instantly she knew what was going on. 

Joey led Phoebe to the center of the cement patio and then got down on one knee. 

"I don't really know how to do this," he said awkwardly. "All I know is that I love you. Phoebe Buffay, will you marry me?" He pulled a ring box out of his jacket to reveal the most gorgeous diamond she'd ever seen. But at that moment, Phoebe forgot the rock.

"I will," she said. Joey sighed in relief. "What, were you expecting me to say no?" she joked. Smiling, Joey slipped the ring on Phoebe's finger and then stood up, cupping her face in his hands and kissing her. 

This, Phoebe knew, was how her life was supposed to turn out. This was her fairy tale, her dream come true - where she was supposed to be. 

Monica came home from a job interview one Sunday to find Chandler and Cassie sprawled out on he couch, asleep. Over the past few weeks, they'd grown very close, and their similarities had become startlingly obvious. Every day, Monica noticed something else. The other day, for example, when she announced she might not continue cooking, they gave her almost the exact same look of disbelief.

"Mom!" Cassie had cried. She was a very vocal, very smart little eight year old, and she immediately argued. "But you love cooking! And you're so great at it!"

"The girl knows what she's talking about, Mon," Chandler agreed. "Why don't you want to be a chef anymore?"

"It's the money," Monica explained. "There are just not that many good jobs for chefs anymore." She didn't explain anymore, and no matter how much Cassie and Chandler pressed, she refused to say more.

On this particular Saturday, Monica almost laughed as she looked at her daughter and Chandler. Cassie had her arm thrown across Chandler's chest, his arms closed gently around her. The three of them had stayed up late watching TV the night before, despite Monica's wishes that Cassie went to bed early. She walked over to the couch and kissed first Cassie, then Chandler.

She and Cassie had moved in with Chandler almost a month ago, and it had been a month and a half since the beach, but Monica and Chandler weren't acting on the spark they'd felt before. It was still there, strong and clear as before, but with the stress of jobs, moving, and Cassie weighing down on them, there was no time for the simple romance they both longed for. Therefore, they individually and mutually, silently, agreed that until things settled down, this was how it would stay.

Chandler stirred as she moved her lips away from his cheek. He smiled before he even opened his eyes. When he saw her, he whispered, "Hey."

"Hey, sleepyhead," she teased. He shook his head lightly and moved his arms away from Cassie, rubbing his eyes. "Can I talk to you?"

"Sure," he said. 

"We can leave her here," Monica said, and so Chandler gently rose from the couch and followed Monica into the bedroom that had become hers and Cassie's. Monica had unpacked most of their stuff in an effort to make the room homier for Cassie, but boxes still cluttered the corners of the room. Chandler shut the door behind him, and they stood awkwardly in the room for a few seconds. Finally, Monica spoke. She was ready, she'd decided over the past few days, ready to have it, to say it, to do it. She prayed Chandler was too. 

"I want to know if there's any possibility of us getting together. For real."

"I - do you want there to be?" Chandler asked quietly, his soft blue eyes staring straight into hers. "An _us,_ I mean."

"Yes," Monica said. She took a small, tentative step toward him.

"Are you sure?"

"Why wouldn't I be sure?" she asked, on the defensive.

"I mean... I don't want to be your stand-in husband and father," Chandler replied uncomfortably, and Monica knew what else he had the tact not to say. _Your stand-in lover._ Because despite the physical, emotional energy they shared, Chandler still had hurt inside him from the way Monica had used him and then left him, disposed of him as if he was a one-time use paper towel, used only to dry the tears she had drowned in that night. He was still cautious of letting her in, of giving her his love. And in this he was, Monica knew, rightfully so. Monica had been an idiot back then - confused about her role in life, about Chandler's and Danny's, making wrong decisions and stupid mistakes wherever she went. There were so many things she would have changed if she'd had the chance.

"I can't change the past," she said. "And I'm sorry for it. But this is now. And now I know what I want." She stepped closer to him again. "And what I want is you. To try _us_." She imagined how fantastic that would be - to fall back in love with her best friend, with the father of her child. To right the wrongs of her past.

"I want that too," Chandler said, his voice becoming deep. They were close now, their breath warming each other. They kissed, gently, then wrapping their arms around each other and holding on tightly. "I don't want to lose you ever again," he said when they came up for air.

"Don't worry," she said, smiling.

A/N: There's only one more chapter after this, but it's really long. Hope you liked this chapter.


	11. Epilogue

A/N: I'm so sad that this story is ending! I decided to end it with a very long epilogue. Read the ending author's note afterwards.

Disclaimer: I don't own the Friends... blah blah.

EPILOGUE - Back Home

Phoebe sat nervously in the kitchen of Joey's mansion, clutching the small, wrapped box in her hands, fiddling with the paper and retying the bow. Joey would soon be home from the after-party of the shooting of the final ever episode of _Seeing Blue,_ which Phoebe felt too sick to attend_._ Joey had announced he was leaving the show two months earlier when he and Phoebe had got engaged. In a month, they were moving back to New York. They both had an extraordinary amount of money saved, they realized, and with Joey's residual checks, they could not work for years and be fine. Anyway, Joey looked forward to being a guest star on other TV shows and landing cameos in movies.

Phoebe jumped up as she heard Joey's Porsche pull into the driveway. "It's Porsche-_uh_," she imagined him saying. Joey waltzed in to the house through the garage.

"Honey, I'm home!" he called, grinning. 

"In here," Phoebe said. 

After he found and kissed her, he asked, "So what was the big deal about coming home early?"

"I have a present for you," Phoebe said, thrusting the box into his hands. Joey cocked his head and smiled.

"Babes, you know I love presents, but - "

"Just open it, Joseph," Phoebe said, using his full name seriously. Joey looked at her to see her earnestly watching him. He tugged at the ribbon and ripped the paper. Inside, he found a box, and out of it he pulled a white stick, half of which was blue. He stared at it, his insides jolting in excitement and terror.

"Pheebs, is this a pregnancy test? Are you - " he stopped as she grinned widely. "You're pregnant?"

"Yes!" she cried.

"Omigod - I'm gonna be a daddy!" Joey cried, dropping the box and pulling Phoebe into his arms, spinning her around and kissing her face. "I love you, Phoebe. I love you."

"I love you too - Daddy," she whispered.

Chandler

Monica and Chandler used their new-found love to comfort each other through work, the daughter they'd had together, things going on around them. And gradually yet all of a sudden, they fell in love. 

They had been living with each other for six months when the sexual tension in the apartment was so intense they could barely keep their hands off each, even when their daughter was around. Chandler would pinch Monica's butt as she walked by, and she would slide her hand up and down his thigh under the dinner table. Monica felt aroused just looking at him, and he felt the same way. But it wasn't until Cassie walked in on them making out in Chandler's bedroom that they sat her down to talk. She was almost nine now, and very intelligent and mature, but she was grossed out to see her mother and "Uncle Chandler" sucking face.

"So I guess you guys are more than friends," she said when they didn't see her immediately. They jerked away, and Chandler fell off the bed. 

"Cassie!" Monica said, smoothing back her hair and straightening her shirt. "What's up, sweetie?"

"Mon," Chandler said, raising his eyebrows. _Tell her,_ he mouthed.

"Okay. Cassie. I guess you figured out Mommy and Uncle Chandler are... more than friends, as you put it. We love each other, and we are boyfriend and girlfriend. Are you okay with that?"

"Are you gonna get married?" she asked. In her young, innocent world, being boyfriend and girlfriend meant getting married. "I'm married, you know."

Chandler suppressed a snort. "_You're_ married?" Monica asked, grateful for a change of subject. "Who are you married to?"

"Well, obviously it's _pretend_ married," Cassie scoffed.

"_Obviously,_" Chandler said, smiling as motherly concern fell over Monica's face. _My God,_ he thought, _motherhood fits her so well._

"His name is Devin, and we got married on the playground. Lanie was my bridesmaid. That's the day I wore my Easter dress," Cassie explained.

"Oh, I see," Monica said knowingly.

"But he had to ask me. Are you going to ask Mommy to marry you, Uncle Chandler?" 

Chandler was caught off guard. His mouth opening and closing like a fish's, he looked at Monica, who was simply watching him, and he realized she was holding her breath. He climbed back onto the bed and rubbed Monica's shoulder. "I think I might," he said, smiling. "I think I just might.''

"Cool!" Cassie said. "Then you'll be like my Daddy!" She grinned her big, lopsided grin, and left. Monica and Chandler laughed nervously at the irony of the untainted comment. 

"Thanks for saying that," Monica said softly. "I wasn't sure - she doesn't understand that you can be with someone but not get married. I'm really grateful to you - you didn't have to - "

"I wasn't just saying that, Mon," Chandler interrupted her. He lifted her chin and stared into her eyes. "Really."

Because he _really_ wasn't scared of commitment anymore. He'd found the woman he loved. But seven months wasn't long enough... he'd have to wait. But he would be patient. He would love Monica and Cassie and be the best boyfriend and father-figure he could, and then when the time came, it would be right.

Joey, Phoebe, some of Joey's California friends, and a couple of Phoebe's friends flew out to New York for their wedding. Despite Phoebe's slightly swelled stomach, they didn't tell anyone about the pregnancy just yet.

Their wedding was a beautiful, magical, celebrity wedding. When Joey promised to never love another woman and to care for Phoebe until the day they died, everyone cried. When Phoebe pledged to help Joey through the rest of his life and obey him unless he asked her to eat meat, they laughed. Ross and Rachel and Chandler and Monica couldn't help but think there were no two people better for each other in the world than the new Mr. and Mrs. Tribbiani - except, perhaps, Ross and Rachel and Chandler and Monica respectively. 

Seven months ("Just seven," they joked with the happy couple, "where's the other two?") after the wedding, Phoebe delivered Aarron Joseph Tribbiani, whom they nicknamed AJ, in Cedars Sinai Medical Center in NYC, NY. Everybody, with the exception of Rachel who held steadfast to her son, pronounced he was the handsomest baby they had ever seen. 

Before any of them knew it, it had been a year since their beach excursion that had changed all of their lives so dramatically. Chandler went to Ross and Rachel's one day to talk to Ross alone. 

"I have something to ask you," Chandler said. "It's about Monica."

"Listen, man, do you guys need money? Because it's - "

"No, we don't need money," Chandler cut him off. He smiled to himself. "I'm going to ask Monica to marry me."

"Oh my God!" Ross asked. "Oh my God, Chandler, really?" 

"Yeah," Chandler said, pulling out a ring box and opening it. Inside was a gorgeously cut one and a half karat diamond, the only clue Ross would get to Chandler's paycheck.

"Holy shit, man," Ross exclaimed, looking closer at the ring. 

"Yeah," Chandler replied, embarrassed. "So um, I just wanted to make sure your okay... with this."

"Why wouldn't I be okay with it?" Ross asked.

"Just - I mean, I don't know your guys' dad, and with you being Monica's brother _and_ my best friend, I just thought you would want to know." Chandler fidgeted. It had seemed like such a gentlemanly thing to do, although it was a bit ridiculous - Monica was thirty eight years old, not a child.

"Thank you for asking, Chandler. But of course I'm okay with it. I'm thrilled, in fact!''

So that night, after the 1995 champagne was poured, Chandler proposed to Monica. She started tearing up halfway through the speech, and when he opened the ring box, she gasped and covered her mouth with her hands. Having anticipated this, Chandler paused, then asked, "Monica, will you marry me?"

"I will," Monica said, her eyes moving from the ring to Chandler's eyes. "I love you, Chandler."

"I love you too." 

Later, as they lay in bed together, Monica held up her hand to look at the dazzling ring. "It's so beautiful, Chandler. However did you pay for it?"

Although Chandler was constantly offering her money, Monica refused to take it, and therefore never knew the extent of Chandler's money. But now they would be together forever - and that was all that mattered. 

Now, four friends were happily married, and none of them could help wondering - would Rachel and Ross ever tie the knot? Soon after Rachel split from Joshua, she, Jamie, and Callista moved in with Ross. Needless to say, it was a strange situation. The fatherless children were confused. "Where's Daddy?" Jamie would ask. "Is Daddy coming home soon?" And whenever he asked, Rachel or Ross would calmly and simply say, "Daddy did a bad thing. You're going to see him sometime. Remember that he loves you." However, Joshua had disappeared after he and Rachel divorced and Rachel filed a restraining order against him, and he never called or wrote the children. All for the better, Rachel and Ross thought.

Callista, on the other hand, took to calling Ross "Dada" as soon as she started talking. Rachel and Ross were surprised, but soon decided to let Callista believe, for now, that the wonderful, loving man that lived with them was her dad. The sweet little girl had never known Joshua, and now probably never would, so Ross was the best substitute she'd have. 

Ross and Rachel agreed, at first, that it would be better to let their attraction stay unnoticed by all. But soon the tension in the apartment became too intense. Ross would get a whiff of Rachel's hair and stiffen up. Rachel would get shivers up and down her spine when Ross touched her arm. It led to them making out in the back of a taxi on the way home from Jamie's first parent-teacher conference, which led to making out on the couch whenever they could for several weeks, which led to falling asleep in each other's arms and being discovered by Monica, bringing the kids home from her place. The news quickly spread, and before long Rachel's parents were calling to ask when the wedding was. 

With 11 years of baggage weighing down their hearts, Ross and Rachel were taking the marriage thing slowly. They lived together for nearly three years, raising Jamie and Callista as if they were their own. 

But still Ross didn't propose. It was his 15 year old son Ben who finally pushed him to pop the question by giving him an ultimatum.

"Rachel is a beautiful woman, Dad," he said. "Even at 40. She's not going to wait around for you to recover for the rest of her life. She wants to give her children a real, stable family. Ask her to marry you. You won't regret it."

And so he did. Rachel was thrilled and surprised, and they married two months later in a simple ceremony. 

Six friends. Three couples. They were happier then they had ever been. It was amazing, Monica thought as she watched Chandler and Cassie play in the waves and rested her hands gently on her growing stomach, how one weekend at the beach - had brought them together. Brought them back home again.

A/N: Thank you all so much for reading and reviewing the first fanfic I've posted! Please leave a review so I can get your opinion on how I ended this. I have another fic, and I'm going to post two new ones as soon as possibe, so watch for them! 

Thanks, luv ya,

Jen 


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